Tall Men (2016) Directed by Jonathan Holbrook
Oh, boy! I have seen my fair share of bad horror movies, but let me tell you, this one is right up there.
Just another one of those movies trying to cash in on the whole 'Tall Man'/Slender Man hype, while it in fact has absolutely nothing to do with the Slender Man myth. So really, if you want to watch this movie expecting to get a Slender Man movie, then please don't! But then again, who should watch this movie to begin with? It is not one that should appeal to anyone, since it as mostly slow one, with a terrible build up and no good horror.
I just don't know where to begin. Guess I will start with the worst aspect about the movie; its pace. Man, is this movie slow. The way characters talk, the way the movie lingers and scenes seem to go on for ever and ever, without really heading anywhere. There is absolutely no reason for this movie to be over 2 hours long, while in fact it still is. There is nothing about this movie or its story that couldn't have been told in under 90 minutes or so. That way the movie might have been a bit more tolerable to watch, at the very least. It however instead really sucked all of the energy out of me, by being such an incredibly slow, dull and uninspired one.
Seriously, this movie doesn't even makes much sense, once you really start thinking about it. Its main plot line is incredibly flawed. It doesn't matter all too much though, since the movie just isn't a very engaging one to begin with. Chances are you will never feel invested with any of the characters or remotely interested in anything that happens on screen.
The movie basically does everything wrong that it could have. The atmosphere, the pace, the build up. It all ensures that this movie falls incredibly flat as a horror movie and movie in general. There just never is any tension, never any good mystery or even any good moments to make this movie even remotely worth watching. Don't even really know if the film-makers were truly trying to make a horror movie to begin with. In a way I still admire its uniqueness, but it just doesn't work out as anything good to watch as well.
The acting is quite terrible as well, which obviously makes things more worse and less appealing to watch. The main character, played by Dan Crisafulli, never manages to work out as a likable enough one. He is just weird and the actor portraying him doesn't seem to know if he is in a comedy, a horror, or an art-house film. He seems confused all throughout, as will most viewers.
Usually never say this, but I truly feel like I wasted 2 hours of my life on this movie. No sir, I don't like it.
3/10
Watch trailer
Just another one of those movies trying to cash in on the whole 'Tall Man'/Slender Man hype, while it in fact has absolutely nothing to do with the Slender Man myth. So really, if you want to watch this movie expecting to get a Slender Man movie, then please don't! But then again, who should watch this movie to begin with? It is not one that should appeal to anyone, since it as mostly slow one, with a terrible build up and no good horror.
I just don't know where to begin. Guess I will start with the worst aspect about the movie; its pace. Man, is this movie slow. The way characters talk, the way the movie lingers and scenes seem to go on for ever and ever, without really heading anywhere. There is absolutely no reason for this movie to be over 2 hours long, while in fact it still is. There is nothing about this movie or its story that couldn't have been told in under 90 minutes or so. That way the movie might have been a bit more tolerable to watch, at the very least. It however instead really sucked all of the energy out of me, by being such an incredibly slow, dull and uninspired one.
Seriously, this movie doesn't even makes much sense, once you really start thinking about it. Its main plot line is incredibly flawed. It doesn't matter all too much though, since the movie just isn't a very engaging one to begin with. Chances are you will never feel invested with any of the characters or remotely interested in anything that happens on screen.
The movie basically does everything wrong that it could have. The atmosphere, the pace, the build up. It all ensures that this movie falls incredibly flat as a horror movie and movie in general. There just never is any tension, never any good mystery or even any good moments to make this movie even remotely worth watching. Don't even really know if the film-makers were truly trying to make a horror movie to begin with. In a way I still admire its uniqueness, but it just doesn't work out as anything good to watch as well.
The acting is quite terrible as well, which obviously makes things more worse and less appealing to watch. The main character, played by Dan Crisafulli, never manages to work out as a likable enough one. He is just weird and the actor portraying him doesn't seem to know if he is in a comedy, a horror, or an art-house film. He seems confused all throughout, as will most viewers.
Usually never say this, but I truly feel like I wasted 2 hours of my life on this movie. No sir, I don't like it.
3/10
Watch trailer
